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TIM.MOVEMENTARIAN.COM END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT FOR VIEWING TIM.MOVEMENTARIAN.COM Original 4/25/2003

THIS IS A CONTRACT between you (either an individual or a single entity – no multiple personalities) and the owner of the site (“Licensor”) which is made available for download via your browser and internet connection which covers your use of the data and related data components (such as HTML tags), which may include printed materials and “online” or electronic documentation. All such data’s and materials are referred to herein as the “Mickey Mouse.”

BY READING THIS STATEMENT, DISCUSSING THIS STATEMENT, AND/OR MODIFYING THIS STATEMENT, THE INDIVIDUAL OR ENTITY LICENSING THE PRODUCT (“YOU”) ARE CONSENTING TO BE BOUND BY AND IS BECOMING A PARTY TO THIS AGREEMENT. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO ALL THE TERMS OF THIS AGREEMENT THERE IS VERY LITTLE THAT YOU CAN DO AS READING THIS STATEMENT SIGNIFIES YOUR CONSENT TO THE TERMS OF SERVICE. FURTHERMORE, IF WE SUSPECT THAT YOU HAVE POSITIVELY GAINED MONETARILY FROM ANY OF THE IDEAS EXPRESSED ON THIS SITE WE WILL ACT WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. NOTE: THIS DECISION IS AT OUR SOUL DISCRETION.

1. Condition of Use. Licensor grants you the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to use the Mickey Mouse to manage and update your lifestyle. You may not redistribute the Mickey Mouse without Licensor’s prior written consent. Although you may modify or create derivative copies of the Mickey Mouse for your own use, you may not distribute modified or derivative copies of the Mickey Mouse. You may not, without Licensor’s prior written consent (a) charge for any legal counsel to discuss these conditions, (b) charge for copies or modified copies of the Mickey Mouse, or (c) charge for support services including legal counseling to discuss the Mickey Mouse. You may not rent, lease, lend or in any way distribute or transfer any rights in this Agreement or the Mickey Mouse to third parties without Licensor’s written approval. All rights not expressly granted to you are retained by Licensor and may be revoked at any time without prior notice. You may make copies of the Mickey Mouse as reasonably necessary for the use authorized above, including as needed for backup and/or archival purposes. No other copies may be made, including daydreams, nightmares, ruminations, fantasies, visions, pipe dreams, hallucinations, speculations, thoughts, delusions, trances, mental depictions or in short any mental replication of the Mickey Mouse.

2. No Warranty and No Quarter. The Mickey Mouse is being delivered to you “As Is” and Licensor and its suppliers make no warranty as to its use or performance. LICENSOR AND ITS SUPPLIERS DO NOT AND CANNOT WARRANT THE PERFORMANCE OR RESULTS YOU MAY OBTAIN BY USING THE MICKEY MOUSE. LICENSOR AND ITS SUPPLIERS MAKE NO WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, AS TO NONINFRINGEMENT OF THIRD PARTY RIGHTS, INCLUDING ZUG AND UGZUG OF UR WHO ARE THE ORIGINAL CREATORS OF WRITING AND DUGALUG WHO WAS THE ORIGINAL LICENSOR OF THE SAID TECHNOLOGY. FURTHERMORE THE LICENSOR IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TITLE, MERCHANTABILITY, OR PHYSICAL FITNESS FOR ANY PARTICULAR PURPOSE. YOU BEAR THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO THE QUALITY AND PERFORMANCE OF THE MICKEY MOUSE. SHOULD THE MICKEY MOUSE PROVE DEFECTIVE IN ANY RESPECT, YOU AND NOT LICENSOR OR ITS SUPPLIERS ASSUME THE ENTIRE COST OF ANY SERVICE OR REPAIR.

3. Limitation of Liability. IN NO EVENT WILL LICENSOR OR ITS SUPPLIERS BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OR ANY LOSS OF REVENUE, DATA, MEMORY, PRODUCTIVITY, DRIVE, AMBITION, ENTHUSIASM, INCONTINENCE, OR PROFITS, EVEN IF A LICENSOR REPRESENTATIVE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES, AND REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THE CLAIM IS BASED UPON ANY CONTRACT, TORT, PHONE CONVERSATION, FORTUNE COOKIE, IM OR IRC CHAT, OR OTHER LEGAL OR EQUESTRIAN THEORY. Some States do not allow the exclusion or limitation of incidental or consequential damages, or the exclusion of implied warranties or limitations on how long an implied warranty lasts, but then again some States tax every purchase and parcel of property one has and sets arbitrary ages for drinking, marriage and gun ownership, so the above limitations or exclusions may not apply to you.

4. Indemnification. You are hereby indemnified. You agree to indemnify and hold Licensor, parents, babysitters, cousins, step-fathers, subsidiaries, affiliates, officers including non-commissioned and those on the local safety patrol, and employees of Shelbyville, harmless from any claim or demand, including reasonable attorneys’ fees, made by any third party due to or arising out of your use of the Mickey Mouse, or the infringement by you, of any intellectual property registered through any source, including opt-in electronic mail specials originating from Mauritius and Nauru, or other right of any person or entity or inanimate carbon rods.

5. Termination. Your extension on life is hereby terminated. You may not terminate this binding one-way Agreement at any time. Furthermore, the Licensor shall have the right to immediately terminate this agreement at any time in the event of any hull breach by you of this Agreement at the Licensor’s sole discretion. In such event, you must destroy all copies of the Mickey Mouse that you have received from Licensor or made pursuant of this Agreement.

6. CHANGES TO TERMS. LICENSOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO CHANGE THIS AGREEMENT AT ANY TIME WITHOUT POSTING ANY PRIOR NOTICE, SO AS LONG AS YOU ARE BREATHING WILL BE BOUND BY THOSE CHANGES. IF THIS AGREEMENT IS REVISED, IT WILL NOT BE IN YOUR FAVOR AND THE CHANGES MIGHT BE POSTED THROUGH HARD TO ACCESS ALLEY WAYS AND PASSWORD PROTECTED PAGES. A MORE RECENT DATE AT THE TOP OF THE POSTED AGREEMENT THAN THE DATE AT THE TOP OF THIS AGREEMENT WILL SIGNIFY THAT WE COULD BE TESTING YOUR LOYALTY AND BREAKING POINT. YOUR NON-TERMINATION OR CONTINUED USE OF THE MICKEY MOUSE AFTER CHANGES ARE POSTED CONSTITUTES A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER TO THE OVERALL PLAN, YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THIS AGREEMENT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE AND WE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY LIP.

7. Governing Law. You are hereby governed by all Hague and Geneva Conventions as well as any treaties signed and broken with the Indians. Additionally, this Agreement will be governed by the laws, whether expressed or implied, of the United States and the Great Country of Texas, excluding the application of its conflicts of law rules, even if they are diametrically opposite. You consent to the personal and exclusive jurisdiction and venue of state and federal kangaroo courts located in Dallas, Texas and Sticks, Arkansas.

8. General. Let it be known that in the event of meeting the Licensor, you will address the Licensor as General or General sir. This Agreement constitutes the entire understanding and education of the legal profession. Furthermore it represents the firm unbending understanding of the parties and revokes and supersedes all prior agreements, oral, semi-oral, sign-language, written in brail or of the written technologies of Zug and Ugzug mentioned previously. The dialogues between the Deltas, the Crypts and the Weaver family may not be modified or amended except in a writing signed by the Licensor who ownz j00. This Agreement shall take precedence over any other documents that may conflict herewith. If any one or more provisions contained in this Agreement are held by any court, tribunal or Pow-Wow to be invalid, illegal, or otherwise unenforceable, each and every other provision shall remain in full force and effect forever.

9. Contact information. Do not call us, we will call you. If you have any questions about this unilateral Agreement, or if you want to contact Licensor (‘General’) for any reason, please direct all correspondence to tmcclure@inandoutlegal.com through email.

Note: the term “Mickey Mouse” is not licensed from the Disney Company, it was manifested through the use of an arbitrary Scrabble method.

Note: the term “Scrabble” is not licensed from the Hasbro Company, it was manifested through the use of an arbitrary anagram system devised by Juggs and Mejuggs the wives of Zug and Ugzug.

Posted by Tim at April 25, 2003 04:32 PM | TrackBack